So call me maybe
by Soroka
Summary: Modern AU. Sanji gets the surprise of his life when he find himself at the other end of a particularly creative flirting strategy. Written for the lovely Kumiko Hasegawa as a dare on Tumblr.


**Hello people! Here comes another of Soroka's wild plot bunnies to graze on some defensless One Piece characters! Seriously though, this fic was written for the lovely Kumiko Hasegawa as a challenge on Tumblr. We were supposed to write a story involving the person challenging us and a character of our choosing. **

**So of course I chose Sanji. And I threw in Usopp to boot. Hope she and everyone else likes the results. **

* * *

Usopp had always liked the summer in New York.

There was something about this time of the year that brought out every color of the city and showed every familiar street and corner in a new, fresh perspective. As he walked through Central Park, breathing in the sweet fragrance of an early July, he could feel his mind clearing and an unwitting smile beginning to spread over his face. Saturday mornings in this part of the city were one of his favorite things in the whole world. This was the place where he could leave the dark side of his job behind and just enjoy the sun, a cold drink and the company of his friends.

Speaking of…

His eyes scanned the park in search of the blond cook he was supposed to meet fifteen minutes ago. When he finally found him sitting on a bench, reading something on a thin black Kindle, he narrowed his eyes and shook his head wondering if Sanji had been born color-blind of just woefully ignorant of basic fashion rules. The bright pink shirt with large dark red and white sunflowers was an affront to design everywhere and the fact that Sanji managed to make it work baffled him even more. Anyone else in that outfit would look like a particularly sad and ineffectual peacock.

He called his name and waved at him. The cook, engrossed in the book in his hand, didn't even look up.

Usopp frowned and was about to call out again when an unusual sight made him pause mid-sentence and step to the side of the path trying to draw as little attention to himself as possible.

A young woman sitting a couple of benches to the left shifted nervously. She wore blue jeans and a wide brown T-shirt that flapped gently in the warm summer breeze. Her hands were tightly clasped around the edges of a fashion magazine but a closer look revealed to Usopp that she was actually holding it upside down. Her eyes darted towards Sanji, back to the glossy pages, then back to the cook. For a second, hesitation crossed the pretty face as her brow furrowed in thought. Then, suddenly, as if making a final decision, she straightened up, rolled up the magazine and looked around with a confused expression. Her gaze swept the bench, then the ground under her. She sank her hands into her pockets, pursed her lips in exasperation and dove into a huge white handbag. A couple of seconds later, she raised her head and slowly checked her surroundings. Finally, she stood up, ran her hands over her shirt, pressing out the wrinkles and walked up to Sanji.

"Uuum… excuse me?"

The cook's head snapped up. For a second, Usopp could see slight annoyance in his face before it melted into a warm smile at the sight before him.

"Yes, miss? How can I help you?"

Even his voice sounded different when he talked to women. Usopp rolled his eyes wondering if he was ever going to hear that gentle timbre when Sanji addressed him or any of the gang.

The young woman in the brown shirt, however, just retuned the smile and twisted her ankles on the gravel.

"I hate to bother you… I was just wondering… have you seen a cellphone around here?"

The cook looked around, his blue eyes carefully inspecting every inch of the bench and the gravel covered path. Finding nothing, he looked up and shrugged in disappointment.

"Sorry, I can't find any." He stood up and crouched looking under the bench. "Is this the last place where you saw it?"

"Yeah, I think so." The woman took a step to the side, long fingers tapping an irregular beat on her knee. "I'm pretty sure it was here."

Sanji straightened up and turned around. His look of disappointment rivaled the young woman's who just looked plain flustered now.

"Did you lose it today? Or maybe yesterday? A lot of people walk by here; I wouldn't be surprised if someone took it…" He trailed off as his eyes drifted towards the other side of the park. "There should be a Lost and Found at the end of this path. Have you asked there?"

The young woman's eyes widened a little. The palest shade of pink colored her cheeks as she shook her head and gave him a small, coy smile.

"Could you… could you maybe call it and see if it rings?"

Usopp felt his mouth fall open in silent shock. A couple of steps away from him Sanji nodded eagerly and fished out a thin smartphone in a bright orange case.

"Sure! What's your number?"

A bright triumphant grin lit up the young woman's face as the cook looked down at the small screen introducing the digits she recited. There was a brief moment of silence and then a happy, upbeat melody floated in the air.

It was coming from the woman's pocket.

A look of genuine confusion imprinted itself upon Sanji's face as he stared at her in mute astonishment. The woman's wide grin grew even larger. She turned around and slid a small clamshell phone from the back pocket of her jeans. The little silver charm on it clinked against the cover as she flipped it open and ended the call. When she looked up, a mischievous smirk appeared in her eyes.

"God, I'm so sorry! You must think I'm such a ditz…" Her tone shifted into a genuine flirtatious drawl for a split second before she flashed him an innocent smile and cocked her head to the side. "Your name's Sanji, right? You have that restaurant on the other side of the park!"

Sanji opened his mouth but no sound came out. For a while he just stood there gaping like a fish on dry land before uttering.

"Yeah… Well, it's not really mine. I'm just the sous-chef." He was still looking at the phone in her hand as if trying to figure out a complex crossword puzzle. "Are you a regular?"

"No, but I'm definitely going to be." She bent down, picked up her huge white handbag from the bench and tucked the phone back in her pocket. "Name's Kumiko. Kumiko Hasegawa. You better write it down."

Sanji's fingers flew over the screen mechanically as he nodded. The woman gave him one last bright smile.

"Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it." She adjusted the bag on her shoulder and winked at him. "And call me sometime."

With those words, she turned around and walked away leaving the cook looking almost as lost as their mutual green-haired friend. As understanding slowly dawned in his blue eyes, they widened beyond physical limits as they stared at the rapidly approaching Usopp.

"Did you…?" Sanji stammered shoving the thin smartphone in Usopp's face. "Did you just see that? Did that… really just happen?"

Usopp pinched the bridge of his long nose as he looked at the young woman who was now a faint silhouette in the distance.

"How…?" He slid the palm down his tanned face stretching his unbelieving expression into a pained grimace. "Seriously how do you manage to have such bad luck with women and then have shit like this happen to you? Tell me! I need to know so I can figure out what the hell I am doing wrong!"

Sanji gave him a death glare and stuffed the phone back into his pocket with an annoyed expression. His eyes followed the woman in the brown shirt for a second as his expression softened a bit.

"Shut up, what do you know about the ways of love?"

"Not enough, apparently! Cute girls never plotted out elaborate ruses to exchange phone numbers with me!" Usopp shook his head, his eyes still fixed on the woman disappearing among the crowd. "I'm telling you, it's the whole chef thing. Girl love a man who know his way around the kitchen. And guys like me end up screwed forever."

Sanji let out a small chuckle.

"Girls aren't interested in ballistic experts? Then what about Kaya?"

The memory of the blond girl tugged at the corners of Usopp's mouth.

"Kaya's the exception that proves the rule. Besides, she wouldn't even have the need to exchange numbers! We grew up less than five miles away from each other. Went to the same school and everything…" He shook his head and grabbed Sanji by the arm dragging him forward. "Come on, we're already late as it is! Nami's gonna kill us when we finally get there."

"You're the one that was late in the first place!" Usopp almost snickered as he heard the cook slip into his usual rough tone. "Besides, we're all going to have to wait for the moss-head as usual. It never takes him less than an hour to get anywhere!"

The irritation in Sanji's voice increased ever so slightly. Usopp gave him a sly nudge as he sing-songed.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about Zoro! Are you going to tell him about your little encounter?"

Sanji froze in his tracks. For a second, Usopp could swear he saw panic cross his features before he turned around doing a magnificent job at feigning indifference.

"Why should I?"

"Well…" Usopp paused as Sanji looked at him, his left eye twitching slightly. "Aren't you two…?"

"Aren't we what?"

"You know…" Usopp lifted his hand crossing his index finger over the middle one. "Considering updating your Facebook status? If you catch my drift…"

Sanji's eyes flared in animosity as his foot descended upon Usopp's head.

"I have no idea what the hell you're talking about!" He threw him one last angry glance and walked on ignoring his protests. "Come on! If we continue like this, Nami is really going to kill us."

Usopp let out a muttered curse as he picked himself up from the path and followed him begrudgingly.

"I swear to God, I don't know why I hang out with you guys."

**(looks around nervously) Did I do okay, sempai? Will you notice me now? Will you... will you leave me a review?(looks at the screen) What about you guys? I... I broke the fourth wall for you and everything. :)  
**


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